Rosh Hashanah - Shana tova!

As we have officially begun September, we are nearing the High Holidays. Which means a break from school, hopefully some fun adventures, and a chance to catch up on the material!!

you already know, photo by THE Lauren Knibbe ;)

It was a bit of a weird week. We had class on Sunday and Thursday, but Monday - Wednesday was off for Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year. But I’ll start at the beginning. Sunday was a full day of class, per the usual. I honestly can’t recall what I did after class, but I was having a bit of a rough day, both emotionally and physically. Lauren was so sweet and having noticed my lethargic mood, she made dinner for us to share. It was a delightful Indian style curry. Somehow, it did more than boost my mood. It literally brought warmth to my soul. I think sometimes we all just need a reminder that we aren’t truly alone and we don’t always have to do everything the hard way. This was my gentle reminder to have a little faith. I can’t explain to you how thankful I am for Lauren.

Between Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday, I spent so much time on Facebook Marketplace, hunting for new additions to our apartment. Overall, I feel very successful. Our apartment is beginning to look put together, especially after Lauren and I took time to rearrange the living room, so the furniture is no longer shoved into a corner. I managed to find a shoe rack (we are VERY proud of this investment), a table – turned desk for Lauren, a giant whiteboard, a tall kitchen island/caffeine station, and an adorable shelf I truly didn’t need (but it is SOO cute). I haven’t managed to get it put on the wall yet, but when I do, I will share photos.

It was quite glorious, and mentally confusing to wake up on Monday and remember - No school!! I went for a marvelous morning run and quite literally ran into Allison at the park. This was quite unexpected at 6:00 am, but a lovely surprise. There is also a guy who walks back and forth through the park every morning, talking on the phone I suspect. Every time I pass him, we smile, and both say, Boker Tov (Gooood Morning!!). It truly is the little things. (:

But life isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. I had purchased a bed set on Saturday with the promise I could return it. Monday morning, Lauren and I went to do just that. To my shock, horror, and frustration, I discovered the law in Israel states you only have 48 hours to return something.. Unfortunately, I was trying to return it on day 3.. It had cost almost $100 and my only choice was to either keep it or exchange it for something else. This was a relatively specialized store, with only towels, bed accessories, pillows, and rugs. I already have 2 towels, and I didn’t need/want any of the bedding. I could feel my frustration bubbling up inside me. SERIOUSLY?? Only 3 days to do a return?? They couldn’t have shared that important detail with me when I bought it? And I was dumb enough not to ask?? What kind of place was this and why did I even buy it to begin with?? I think Lauren could sense and see my downward spiral, because she graciously suggested we could pick out some rugs for our apartment so we could all split the cost. We ended up with 2 rugs for the apartment, one rug for my room, and some pillowcases. We finished our shopping errands and headed back. On my way home, I stopped and got some falafel for lunch because I was too tired to figure out food. I also stopped at our local grocery store to make sure I had enough food since everything would be closed from Monday afternoon until Wednesday evening. To our delight, Jack and Caroline came over to hang out. I'm thankful we have working wifi to share, because they are having a lot of trouble getting utilities set up in their new place. (Israeli bureaucracy I tell ya). It was a very productive study session, Jack definitely helped me get through the statistics homework in record time. After they left, Lauren and I did an extensive pro/con analysis on what study resources to purchase for our classes. Several resources were having big Labor Day sales, so the time for a decision was upon us. These are expensive resources, but somehow they are necessary to supplement class materials and prepare us for non-professor written exams and STEP 1 at the end of our second year of medical school. It’s pretty ridiculous, isn’t it? We are already paying quite a pretty penny to go to school, but then there is always more we need to buy apparently. Finally, we made a decision and soon after I found myself falling asleep on the couch (old habits die hard), so I moved to my bed and finally got some sleep.

On Tuesday morning I went for a run and did a workout. I saw my morning pal and we shared our normal greeting. Later that morning I ran to pick up my whiteboard (from Facebook Marketplace of course). On my walk home with my giant whiteboard, there was almost no one out and about due to the holiday. I happened upon a little old lady standing on the sidewalk with no shoes. She had already started talking to me before I was close enough to even have a chance of hearing what she said. She seemed very insistent, but I could only understand the word telephone. I tried to explain that I only speak English to which she insisted I needed to follow her and connect her phone. She led me through an alley, and I will admit, I was a little nervous. I couldn’t see where we were going, and I was still confused by her shoeless-ness (even though that sounds like something I would do haha). When we reached her apartment, she led me to a phone that was unplugged from the cord, and gestured, saying connect. So I connected it. But she wasn’t satisfied and wanted me to teach her. I didn’t quite understand, but I tried to show her. She continued insisting, but eventually, even with my lack of technical knowledge, we got it figured out and I was dismissed haha. It’s funny, because as I was walking with my whiteboard, I was almost annoyed I hadn’t asked the seller to deliver. But I think that little lady was my answer (:

When I bought the kitchen island/caffeine station, I did convince the seller to deliver. The seller was a guy around my age, maybe a couple years older. In typical Israeli fashion, he asked me many questions about myself in rapid succession. I could feel my face turn bright red when he asked if I had a boyfriend back in the U.S. I had a bit of an inkling where our conversation was going before he inquired about my Thursday night plans. I couldn’t think of anything believable to say under that pressure, so when he asked if I would want to do something with him, all I could say was maybe. He left with the promise of being in touch about Thursday. It was weird, funny, and slightly uncomfortable. Mainly, I was extremely curious about what a date would look like here. But the most important thing about Tuesday was my successful creation of Spaghetti O’s!! I had to go the homemade route, but it was DELICOUS. I will definitely be cooking Spaghetti O’s again (:

Also here is a fun video about the Fall Holidays through a more Christian perspective that my friend Mirta shared with me. If you are curious, it’s short and I found it very interesting!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mkzI5Hlr0UY

Wednesday was another pretty chill day. I studied, caught up on some sleep (if such a thing is possible haha), and ate more spaghetti O’s ;) In the evening I went to Bible study. We discussed Mark 14:1-11, when the woman poured expensive perfume on Jesus’s head. It seemed so extravagant and unnecessary. How should we interpret it when he says you will always have the poor among you, but you will not always have me? There was some very deep discussion about when you simply adore and worship Jesus, versus when you actually serve or display the fruit of your faith through works. I was reminded of just how beautiful it can be to simply spend time with Jesus. The woman had an almost embarrassing adoration for Jesus, while the host displayed a much more casual attitude. Do I love Jesus as desperately and completely as the woman? I pray I will grow to love him deeper and deeper. I also think this passage shows us how much Jesus cares and values every individual. We can’t end world poverty or help every single person who is in need, no matter how much we want to. But we can love the people in our lives intentionally so everyone around us can see the love of Christ and we can share the joy we have in him. Jesus wants us to do beautiful things for each other. Love is made evident in the practical, but it is also in things we do that go above and beyond the practical, things that aren’t necessary for survival, like pouring the perfume on Jesus. When we broke up in small groups to pray at the end, I didn’t share much because honestly, I didn’t know how to put all the things I have been feeling into words. But when Rachel prayed for me, I almost started crying. It was almost like she was able to pin-point all the little things I hadn’t even said. It felt as if I was sitting directly in my Father’s embrace. For all the moments during these past weeks when I have felt far from Christ and unable to reach him, in that moment I was reminded that he knows and he is always there.

Late Wednesday night, my would-be date asked if 8pm Thursday would work for him to pick me up. I agreed and after some restlessness, I fell asleep. I woke up early Thursday morning feeling anxious and slightly panicked about the date. Trying to understand why, I spent a long while praying about it and examining my heart. I have done the random hangout with guys I have just met before, and it has always turned out fine, sometimes it’s even been enjoyable. But I realized several things. First of all, I am currently pretty vulnerable emotionally. I am missing all of my people and feeling lonely. I would love to have a person who is my person here. Secondly, I was not interested in him romantically at all. He seemed nice but that was it. Thankfully, my dear Kat was still awake and listened to my irrational panic calmly. We talked it through, and I canceled on him. Because in the end, if it’s someone I don’t think is pursing Christ and someone I don’t even know, it’s most likely not going to be life giving long term. I don’t want to end up relying on someone like this guy emotionally just because it is convenient. I mean, I have been there, done that, and it kind of really sucks haha. That evening, I ended up sharing some delicious pita and hummus with Sammy, Simon, and Lauren before heading to the park for a game night with other MSIH students. We played Dutch Blitz and Fish Bowl (: I laughed and really enjoyed everyone’s company. Afterwards, Lauren and I came back and watched 2 episodes of a zombie show on Netflix. It was surprisingly comical and quirky. But the best part of my day was having a deep life chat with Lauren after our Netflix show was done. It had been much too long since I have had that type of conversation face-to-face. I didn’t want it to end, but we eventually put ourselves to bed. I am looking forward to more of these conversations in the future with this dear soul (:

Friday morning found Lauren and I at the shuk, trying our luck at blending in and bargaining like an Israeli ;) My favorite moment was when I saw my favorite meat vender (I have been there twice) across the market and he waved at me!! It was a sweet moment (: I bought some chicken from him and learned his name is Avi. We got plenty of veggies and fruits. I also boldly bought a kilo of couscous to try. I guess if I don’t like it, I have a lot of unfortunate meals ahead of me haha. With Lauren as my pal, I felt much more successful than I had during my previous solo trip. When we got home, we baked cookies!! Chocolate chip to be exact. Lauren did most of the actual mixing and creating, I was just responsible for putting them in the oven and taking them out (: We have not been able to find brown sugar anywhere, so we tested out a substitution of turbinado sugar with date molasses. Even though we were a little skeptical, I thought they turned out quite delicious. Don’t worry, we shared with some friends as well  which is honestly the best part.

The majority of the day was actually spent cooking. We created a veggie, taco, chili for supper that was honestly scrumptious. It took most of the afternoon, but it was worth it. Even more so when Caroline and Jack came over to share it with us. Technically I guess this counted as our first hosted Shabbat Dinner??? We talked about life and books and movies and had an overall delightful time (: I can’t say I have ever been disappointed in time spent with Lauren, Caroline, and Jack. What a blessing. I did manage to go to bed early Friday night, which served me well on Saturday (:

I woke up early and got to chat with my favorite Jacey Grogan (and Wesley haha) before heading out for a run. I couldn’t ask for a better start my morning. After running, I returned, did some reading and got ready for the day. Garrett (my friend from facebook) came and picked Lauren, Simon, and I up at 7:45am to head on our adventure to Ein Bokek. I had no idea what this adventure was going to look like except that it involved fresh water and was near the Dead Sea. It turned out to be \ beautiful and refreshing. We walked/hiked through a shallow stream up to a little waterfall and spring. It was the perfect time of day for this activity. It was great to be out of the city and in nature, although many other people had the same idea, so it wasn’t entirely peaceful haha.

During this adventure, I was reminded that I need to live with the assurance of Psalm 23.

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, 3 he refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for his name’s sake. 4 Even though I walk through the darkest valley, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

When you focus on the quiet waters he leads you along, the dark valleys fade to the background. Even if the hard things don’t go away, they lose their power over us.

(Garrett took this with his fancy Insta360 camera)

We got back to Be’er Sheva with plenty of time to spare. We headed to lunch with our Orthodox classmates; Talia, Rebecca, and Esti. They are truly the sweetest (: We were joined by Hannah (another of our classmates) and Nat (a friend of Talia’s). Not only was the food delicious, but the company was second to none. It was very interesting to learn more about how they keep the Sabbath sacred and what Shabbat Lunch looks like for them. The food was all kosher, it had been prepared beforehand, it was heated on an electric stovetop because they can’t use the oven, and it was a full three course meal (: We are excited to figure out a way to have them over to our place for a meal in the future. It feels a little complicated though, because our kitchen isn’t kosher and therefore, they can’t eat food we cook in our kitchen. I’m confident we will figure out something that works (:

It was almost 3:30pm when we headed home. My heart was full, but my energy tank was at empty. I convinced my brain that I would work on homework, but I ended up taking a nap. Lauren and I had also made supper plans with Sydney, another lovely classmate. Lauren cooked up an Indian style pasta curry (I’m sure that’s not the actual name but it’s all I’ve got at this moment haha) and a lentil salad with Sydney and I on chopping duty (: Sydney is honestly so cool and she really finds exceptional activities to do. She joined the BGU volleyball team, and she is planning to spend Succoth break at a Farm in the West Bank doing a Work-Away program (thank you Max MaQueen for teaching me what that is haha). Like WHAT?? I wish I was cool enough to think of that! I’m excited to hopefully become better friends with her as time goes on.

This week was restful, but almost in a forced, non-ideal way. I didn’t get nearly the amount of studying done that I had planned. Holidays are weird when there isn’t really anyone to see or anything to do outside of your normal routine. Yes, it was a relief to have a break from school. Yes, it was nice to have more time for phone calls and communication with people from home. But it reminded me of how far I am from home. And it brings me back to the question of where home even is now. And at the end of the day, does it matter if I am a doctor, or a farmer, or a waitress, or janitor? I thought I mattered, I thought it was important to who I am, my dreams, but maybe it’s not. I talked with several older students about my struggle to study and focus and even be interested in the material right now. Many reassured me with the reminder that first year looks completely different than the rest of school and isn’t not an accurate measure of what it truly means to be a doctor. Other encouraged me to really dig in and find outside activities I love. It feels like so long since I had to find activities outside of school, work, family, and friends that I almost wonder if I know how anymore. When all my layers of comfort, normalcy, and responsibility are pulled back, I’m not sure what is left. I don’t want to just be a collection of adventures; I want to be something deeper and richer. I don’t know how to find that or become it. But here is to trying, and failing, and trying again. You know what they say; you win some, you lose a lot ;)

I love you all and as cheesy or cliché as it sounds, I truly thank God for each of you every day. You are one of a kind special and incredible.