Resting and Remembering

The week of September 27-October 2

On Monday morning, I finally woke up early enough for the morning run along the shoreline that I had been longing for. It was as beautiful as I expected. It reminded me of my morning runs in Greece where I would end with a dip in the ocean. It didn’t work out this way in Tel Aviv because the apartment was about a mile in-land. But it was wonderfully refreshing nonetheless. I did some cleaning in the apartment and I was ready to make my trek back to Be’er Sheva. This time, I chose to take the bus instead of the train, simply because the bus was only a 10-minute walk, making it seem like the simpler option. It didn’t go nearly as smoothly as I had hoped. The bus was scheduled to leave at 8:40 so I left the apartment at 8:15, thinking I had plenty of cushion time. The initial walk was fine, but as I approached the bus station, I realized it was going to be more difficult than I predicted. It was a multi-story bus stop, and I had no idea where the busses were located. I knew the number was 370, but that was all. As I walked up to the entrance, I surrendered my bags for inspection and tried to ask the security guard how to could find the bus to Be’er Sheva. He told me it was on the 6thfloor, but then continued to say something about shalosh, which means 3, and vaguely pointed in a forward direction. In this moment, I could feel tension begin to build in the back of my throat. One step at a time. I wandered around until I found an escalator and made my way up. Eventually I reached what I assumed was the 6th floor. As soon as I got off the escalator, my backpack came completely unzipped and everything fell out, including my laptop. The security guard hadn’t zipped it back up all the way when he checked it upon my entry. Some soldiers stopped and helped me pick it up, but the damage was done. I felt completely out of control and all I wanted to do was get out. All the doors in sight were locked, and I didn’t see any buses. My chest tightened. By this point, I had accepted I wasn’t going to make my bus. I went up to the security guards on the floor and asked if they knew how I could find the bus to Be’er Sheva. At first, they simply pointed in a vague direction, but I think my look of panic convinced them to give me slightly more detailed directions. One elaborated that once I got to the coffee shop, I should turn left and keep going. This helped and finally I saw busses and a place to exit and get on a bus. However, none of the exits had departure times or destinations marked. Every bus I saw had a bus number above 600. Tears were forming in my eyes. I was tired and sweaty and emotionally spent. I sat down and considered my options. Finally I worked up the courage to ask a young female soldier if she could help me. I must have looked as upset as I felt because after I asked her, she paused, asked if I was okay, offered me some of her drink, and assured me she would help if I slowed down and explained. She was so kind, and I immediately started to feel much better. Once I explained I was looking for the Be’er Sheva bus, she walked with me until we found my bus. I am so thankful for her compassion and her willingness to help me. I thanked her and after sharing a smile, she went on her way and I went on mine. The next bus arrived shortly and I boarded without incidence. There were only about 5 other people on the bus (I guess Be’er Sheva isn’t a hot destination haha) and I was so incredible thankful to be there. All these little challenges might seem inconsequential, but I think they were simply the straw that broke the camel’s back.

As I reflected during the trip back, I thought about the girl who walked me to my bus stop. It reminded me of the difference it makes to actually walk alongside someone. Sometimes I convince myself it’s enough to give directions or encourage them from where I’m comfortably at. But it isn’t enough, and it’s my fleshly desire to go about my own way uninterrupted that allows me to discount the value of going alongside.

Galatians 6:2

“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”

Matthew 5:41-42

“Whoever makes you walk a short way, go with him twice as far. Give to any person who asks you for something. Do not say no to the man who wants to use something of yours.”

Be’er Sheva had never looked as beautiful as it did when I stepped off the bus that morning. It’s the closest thing I have to a home for quite a while, so I’m very thankful it’s starting to feel comfortable. After making myself a smoothie, I decided to check out a vaccine clinic I had heard about. All the students are required to get their third covid booster if it has been over 5 months since the last vaccine. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to get on campus so there wasn’t much of a choice in the matter.

It had been just over 5 months for me. I was a little apprehensive because my first 2 vaccine doses were Moderna, and Israel only offers Pfizer. As with all news recently, there have been mixed opinions and data on whether the two vaccines should be mixed. To my surprise, getting the vaccine turned out to be surprisingly smooth. The clinic was on the edge of town, by a big stadium. I walked in and was immediately handed number 134. I only know my numbers in Hebrew up to 100 (and that’s on a good day when they talk slow enough haha) but I watched the people in front of me and managed to make it to the right station when my number was called. The man I started at initially thought I was getting my first shot because I had no records in their system. When I explained it was my third and showed him my vaccine card from the U.S., he started yelling, “Dan!” repetitively until a man I can only assume was Dan appeared. It was a little unsettling haha. But “Dan” took me to the back where a kind woman put my information into their system and another man administered the vaccine. The whole process took less than 15 minutes, I was honestly impressed.

I decided to walk home, and even though it was a long hot walk, it reminded me of how beautiful Be’er Sheva is, in its own way. Returning to my phone issues, I had become suspicious that it was the charging chord rather than my phone itself causing the problem. Even though I had already gone through 3 charging chords in the last month, I decided to buy one more and give it a try. It only cost the equivalent of $5 after all, and what is $5 after spending $100 for my wireless charging equipment. I also realized I had minimal food after returning from Tel Aviv, so I stopped at my favorite Asian restaurant and got some Chicken Pad Thai to go.

When I tried out the charging chord, it worked!!! Praise the Lord! The wireless charger had been working, but very slowly and my phone wasn’t retaining battery life well. I rested and attempted to study for the remainder of the afternoon. Later that evening I had the pleasure of talking to my sweet friend Shayna on the phone. I’m so thankful for her friendship (: I was able to hop on my bike (maybe I should give it a name haha, any suggestions???) and ride the short 6 minutes to Caroline and Jack’s apartment for a game night. Diego, Jacob, Terry, and sweet Sophie were there too. I was reminded how blessed I am to have such wonderful community here already. We played games for a couple hours, talked about the ups and downs of life, and I left tired but filled. On my way home I stopped by the park and said hi to a couple MSIH students before excusing myself. I had an appointment with my bed haha. Unfortunately for me, I had a completely restless night. By 4:30am, I had moved to the balcony couch, and I was able to get about 30 minutes of sleep.

My original plan was to spend the majority of Tuesday studying. But I quickly discovered the combination of less than an hour of sleep, a headache, and achy bones, made studying almost impossible. Every time I tried, I fell asleep haha. Not terribly surprising. Even though my day had a rough beginning and middle, it had a really wonderful wrap-up. Later in the afternoon, I met up with Esti in Park Hasofrim. I’m glad I had a reason to get out of the house. We laughed, we talked, and we even found a few English books in the outdoor “library”. And what I was most excited for was still ahead. Bible Study. Tuesday was the last day of the Sukkot holiday and the MSIH bible study, international BGU bible study, and Hebrew bible study groups were all meeting together for a potluck followed by time in the Word. It was in a part of Be’er Sheva I hadn’t been to before. I decided to contribute ratatouille to the potluck. It was my first time making it (and eating it haha). It turned out okay, definitely not my favorite though. With the holdiay, there was no public transportation. Nick was kind enough to offer rides, so he picked me and the ratatouille up and off we went.

I know God will always provide what we need, but I continue to be amazed at how perfectly He meets my needs. Even before the meal started, several people came up and asked me how I was doing, and when I said okay, they called me out on it haha. Which was accurate on their part. They noticed I was tired, even though I didn’t think I was displaying any tell-tale signs. When I mentioned the holiday was kind of weird because I didn’t get to be with my family, they encouraged me with when I would get to see my family and reminded me they are always here as my family in the meantime. I also got to hold Samuel and Yemi’s baby for a sweet 20 minutes!!! Yemi instructed me not to let her look in my eyes because then she may realize she isn’t with her mom or dad. I think I was successful; we passed our time together without incidence (:

I think in my last post I mentioned the hopelessness and lack of purpose I have been feeling and struggling with. God had been preparing my heart to see him and trust in him more fully. He tells us everything will work together for the good of those He loves, and it does. When we split into groups I was reminded of this. Below was the premise of our focus.

“Our Journey here is like a “Sukka” (which are set up throughout Israel during Sukkot) – a metaphor for the temporary and transitory nature of our life here. Our eyes are focused forward on the permanent Heavenly city which is promised us. This week we looked at another key feature of the Festival of Tabernacles, Sukkot – the concept of rejoicing.”

In Leviticus, God said, “Rejoice before the Lord your God..”. In Deuteronomy, “Be joyful at your festival…”

My group’s focus was on what Joy in work looks like. What does it look like to rejoice in the mundane, where we don’t see purpose? I don’t think it is a coincidence that this is exactly what I have been struggling and wrestling with.

Ecclesiastics 3:9-13

“What do workers gain from their toil? I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their tail – this is the gift of God.”

As human, we were designed to be eternal beings. But while we are on earth, our days are numbered. We can’t see the purpose of everything God is doing, we only get to see bits and pieces, small glimpses. I can’t speak for everyone else, but I long to have purpose and meaning, and when I don’t see it, I immediately think I need to make a change. And sometimes I do need to make a change. But sometimes I am right where I need to be. I believe God brought me to Israel for a purpose. But it’s HIS purpose, not my purpose. When I try to make meaning out of it on my own, I am going to come away empty. Again and again and again. Because I can’t possibly see the big picture. Someone in my group at bible study reminded me that when we are faithful in the mundane, it is through those moments that God makes something beautiful in the end. God gives me the breath in my lungs. And I can strain and struggle and strive all I want, but He is the only one who can take what little I have to offer and give it meaning. This includes my studying. It may feel pointless and endless at times, but if I do it each day for God’s glory, I can rest assured that it won’t be wasted in His kingdom, regardless of if I see the purpose through my short-sighted perspective.

I have one other piece of rejoicing I would like to share. I have been asked before what the difference is between being happy and rejoicing. But in that moment of fellowship, I was reminded of something that gave me so much freedom. Happiness is something we strive for, but it never lasts. It is more about ourselves and less about the people around us. Joy and rejoicing is an overflowing that results in thinking about ourselves less and loving others more. When I try to make the people around me happy, I will always fail because any happiness I bring them is temporary. But if I rejoice, I can let my joy run over and share it with others. Praise the Lord that His joy is constant it allows me to have joy and thus love others freely without the burden of trying to achieve the impossible goal of happiness.

So what does Sukkot remind us? This was part of the summary at the end of our bible study.

“After having spent a week reliving the vulnerability of life in the desert tents, it’s an opportunity to remember God’s Word is everlasting, never-ending in its relevance to our lives, especially at the beginning of this new cycle. It reminds us that the Sustainer who safeguarded the Sukka-dwellers has not abandoned them, but remains forever faithful, forever trustworthy, forever gracious. He will continue to bless them with new life and sustain them through the new year with all its work, struggles, and tribulations. His loving arms are the foundation upon which trust is based, upon which there is confident knowledge, surety of salvation. Is this not cause for rejoicing – God is still with us! Is this still relevant to us? Yes, we who are followers of Jesus, Yeshua haMashiakh, trust that Jesus is the very same Word of God through whom all things were made and without Him nothing was made (John 1:3). Jesus, Immanuel, is our foundation who keeps the fragile sukka of our lives safe, that we may glorify our God.”

2 Corinthians 13:11

“Finally, brothers and sisters, rejoice! Strive for full restoration, encourage one another, be of one mind, live in peace. And the God of love and peace will be with you.

Wednesday morning was the sweetest morning I have had in a while. I got up and just spent time with Jesus. I prayed, I cried, and I felt loved. It was also my Dad’s Birthday!!! I got to talk with him on the phone and see his face (: I love my Dad so much. I finally got some studying done and only took a small nap, which was a huge victory for me. By supper, I had convinced myself I needed pizza. It seemed like a good way to get protein but also fill a craving haha. And just my luck, there is a pizza place right below my apartment building. My plan was far from perfect. To start, only one person working spoke English, and she wasn’t happy about it. Then I learned they had no meat. To their credit, I shouldn’t have been completely shocked given kosher requirements. Then she wouldn’t list any of the toppings, so I decided to stick with cheese. To top it off, I unknowingly paid for a 2 liter bottle of pop. She waited until after my pizza was done to inform me of this. In this moment, I was reminded Be’er Sheva is not Tel Aviv AND, I desperately need to improve my Hebrew.

I finally managed to get up for a short morning run Thursday. I also finally bought a bike lock. Two morning victories (: Studying happened and one of our friends, Leann, stopped by to drop of some gluten free pastries and bread she got while traveling for Lauren. It was incredibly tender. Sammy and Lauren both returned from Tel Aviv in the evening which was very exciting after being in Be’er Sheva alone for almost 4 days. The alone time was very good and much needed, but I was ready to have people around again (:

Basketball practice was held very late on Thursday evening, 8:30pm-10:00pm. There were only 5 of us and, whew, we were all dying. With 5 people, we were basically running the whole time. About an hour in, I think the coach was very unimpressed with our efforts. I reached this conclusion from both his facial expression and the fact that we were standing on the line and he was yelling sprint. Honestly the amount of running we had to do was minimal compared to what I have experienced in previous basketball practices. However, my fellow teammates thought otherwise. One walked off the court in the middle of sprints and sat on the side while another started walking. That left חן, pregnant and breast feeding, who was certainly trying her best but unable to make the coach’s allotted time, and then me and Nitzan who kept pace with each other. It was rough to say the least. But we all made it out alive, and overall, it was good and I enjoyed it. Nothing like a little challenge and failing every once in a while to allow me to relish the moments of success (:

Friday morning marked two morning runs in a row! Our landlord came by and I mustered all my my chutzpah to ask him if he could help us put screws in the ceiling for our hanging chair. He laughed in a bit of an unsettling way, but in the end said he would come Saturday and help! With this motivation in mind, Lauren and I set off to what I have dubbed our local hardware store. It was just chaotic enough to make me feel at home. The man working didn’t speak English, but he immediately asked the other customers in the store if anyone could help translate. It was wonderful. I think their customer service would give Golda a run for their money ;) I found the screws and nails I needed, and Lauren got a lovely shade of green paint for our walls. Our first order of business was hanging the whiteboard I had bought several weeks earlier. It looks pretty great, if I do say so myself. Those were basically the highs of Friday (:

I was once again reminded of just how special the community of believers is here in Be’er Sheva at church on Saturday. I met two new friends, Katilina and Hector. Katilina is a student here at Ben Gurion, and Hector was an older man who tried really hard to use his English but his words kept coming out in a mixture of Hebrew and English. His efforts were quite endearing and reminded me of my church family back in Haviland. The service itself was also incredibly special. We shared communion and had two baptisms after the service!! The church has a small built-in baptistery outside and everyone gathered around as the two young men shared parts of their testimony. And oh the joy and rejoicing that was shared afterwards. And this moment reminded me of Rock Hills in Manhattan. I’m so blessed to be a part of such a beautiful international group of believers.

I think this is the only picture I took this whole week haha. And it isn't even a good one at that. But you can see where baptisms were done and some of the lovely people from church (:

Rami, our landlord, returned as promised. He brought all the necessary tools to hang the chair, but concluded it was too dangerous for him to do. I couldn’t quite understand his reasoning with the language barrier, but he did say we could do it ourselves if we wanted. And that was that. He took his tools and left lol. It was a very weird encounter.

Saturday was the last day before school would resume and I don’t think anyone was feeling ready. Many people had spent a considerable amount of time in Tel Aviv, traveling around Israel, and some (mostly people with Israeli citizenship) were even able to go home. I didn’t talk to a single person who studied as much as they had hoped to haha. But Risper finally returned from Kenya!! We finally had a full house (technically apartment haha).

But God is so faithful. Even though I wasn’t ready for classes to resume, my hope and spirit were refreshed. When I allow God to define purpose in my life, I am able to let go and rejoice. Praise the Lord!!!