Catch-Up

Hello fellow humans (:

As some of you may have noticed, I am weeks behind on my updates haha. I feel like I am ages behind on everything currently. In school, maintaining good communication in relationships, learning Hebrew, sleep, etc. I feel like I am falling quite short of the mark. So if I haven’t been communicating consistently, the problem is me haha. I miss you and I always appreciate hearing from you.

And with my blog posts. I haven’t necessarily been purposefully avoiding them, but deep down there are many emotions I have been avoiding. As my blog often leads to me processing my emotions, I have been avoiding writing as well. But the time has come to face myself haha. Or maybe this will be a lighter post will maximal avoidance ;)

In my last post, I ended with a sad story of me feeling quite sick. The next few days were slower and involved much more sleep and much less studying than I planned, but God is gracious in allowing me space to rest. Being sick in a foreign country, especially during Covid, gave me several of new perspectives. First of all, even the thought of trying to schedule an appointment with a doctor was overwhelming. I couldn’t even study using my computer let alone navigate a website I would have to translate or a phone call through several contacts before finding someone who speaks English. Second of all, there is the problem of Covid the limbo of getting tested. In my case, I chose not to get tested. Maybe this was the wrong choice, maybe it was fine. I didn't feel like it was Covid and to my knowledge, no one got Covid after being around me. Honestly my test on myself was, can I still taste?, and if I could, I called it good enough.

Then there is the human aspect. I had a very obnoxious, gross-sounding cough for over a week after I started feeling better. I felt extremely self-conscious. Every time I coughed, sniffled, or blew my nose there were different responses from the people around me. A couple days after my day of nothingness, I decided to try and go to basketball. Maybe it wasn’t the wisest idea, Lauren advised me to rest, but for some reason I was determined. My energy level was still low, my cough still very present, and I had some level of congestion. My plan was to go and if they had enough people to practice, I would leave. Unsurprisingly there weren't enough people haha. So I stayed and informed several people I wasn’t feeling the best. The first half of the practice basically consisted of nonstop running in drill and sprints. I was not doing well. I was coughing and dragging. But to my astonishment, not one of my teammates asked if I had Covid, if I had gotten tested, or purposefully kept their distance. Instead, they showed authentic concern and after some of the sprints, they told me to get water or take a break if I needed, repetitively asking if I was okay. It was the sweetest thing honestly. They even coordinated among each other to make sure I would have a ride home. I don’t know if I can properly explain how meaningful that was to me. In contrast, I was having supper the next evening at someone’s house and I coughed. The person next to me, looked at me, and said, “do I need to move?” I know they didn’t mean it in a hurtful way, but it stung all the same. And I get it. Everyone is concerned about Covid and no one don’t want to get sick. I mean who does? And maybe I shouldn’t have gone. But what is the alternative? Stay at home for over a week until my cough was gone? There are required classes and labs that can’t be made up. And I have found it is essential to remain in community with people here. It's all very gray and sometimes there are no right answers.

Being sick is hard. Being sick during Covid is hard. Being sick in another country is hard. And I was so blessed while I was sick. One of my roommates bought me juice, provided cough and cold medicine, and they all checked on me regularly. But it is still hard. It gave me a lot of perspective on what others could experience based on different circumstances. Not everyone is as blessed as I was with great support.

But there was at least one blessing I can easily think of that came with being sick haha. For some reason, restrooms here are often out of toilet paper. I mean it happens to everyone haha. But it has happened to me multiple times where I didn’t realize it until it was too late. And what do you do in a foreign country? I don’t know how to say, “heyyy, I don’t have toilet paper, can someone help me?”, in Hebrew haha. Although maybe after repeated incidences I should learn that phrase. There are also moments no one is around to help anyway. So here I was, in this exact situation, toilet paperless, human-less, and word-less haha. But low and behold, this time I was carrying around a roll of toilet paper to frequently blow my nose with!! The moment I realized this, what I felt was nothing short of pure joy and relief. Truly. Praise the Lord!!!

We also had our first microbiology lab that week. Which was very interesting haha.. I don’t know if this is common practice in the US, but here at Soroka Hospital, you get scrubs and lab coats out of a vending machine. Incredible right?? You have card, you swipe it, pick a size, and it spits it out. Then when you are done with the clothing, you swipe your card again, and the machine sucks it right in. With our lab coats, long pants, close toed shoes, and safety goggles, we were ready for the 3 hr lab ahead. And while it was an engaging experience, it was honestly disappointing. I think the microbiology lab I took at K-State was more involved and comprehensive.

Learning a new language can be very funny. After Hebrew class one evening, a few of us congregated before going our separate ways. We were attempting to use our very limited Hebrew to exchange a few sentences. As this was happening, people were walking by us, giving us very strange looks. One man stopped and asked if we needed help, out of concern haha. We quickly dispersed after this interaction, deciding we had embarrassed ourselves sufficiently for the moment. We have a LONGGG way to go in our Hebrew skills haha.

ALSO I GOT A PACKAGE!!!!!!!!!!! Technically as of the present, I have received 2 packages (: One from my aunt and one from my mom. It has made me feel so loved. One of my classmates said as much. Someone must love you a lot they said. They do. They really do. Honestly so much more than I deserve. I am blessed beyond belief to have so many people that love me and encourage me even when I have nothing to really offer in return. I don’t even know how to mail a letter from here haha… So thank you, thank you, thank you. Each and every one of you. I don’t think I could say thank you enough times to convey the deep gratitude I have.

On Thursday morning while we were preparing to go to our zoom classes and preparing for our afternoon quiz, there as a knock on the door. Sammy and I looked at each other. Who could it possibly be haha? Neither of us were expecting anyone. When we opened the door, we found a woman with several suitcases, who spoke only Hebrew. Sammy’s Hebrew is much more advanced than mine, but after a few minutes of trying to understand, we concluded she was looking for a Hostel, and thought our apartment was such a place. We tried without success to help figure out where said hostel was, before giving up and knocking on our neighbors’ door. I have no idea what they said to her, but it must have cleared everything up, because she left almost immediately. I really hope she found her hostel haha.

Friday morning, I had a nerve-racking experience. When I had bought my RavKav (public transportation card) months earlier, there had been a problem. Since the Israeli semester didn’t start until the middle of October, they set my student account to expire around that time. This is problematic, because at that point, my RavKav would stop working and I wouldn’t be able to pay for the bus ride. Let’s be honest though. Most of the time, you can get away with not paying. Only occasionally does someone get on the bus and check to make sure everyone paid. That being said, I pay every time. I had a classmate who didn’t pay once, and the checker fined her 100 shekels. To put this in perspective, the ride costs 4 shekels. Quite a price jump yeah? Back to Friday. I had decided to go to the Shuk to get some fresh vegetables and fruit. After debating, I decided to risk the bus. It would take about 40 minutes to walk vs a 15 minute ride. I got on, and my card was rejected. There is an app where you can supposedly update your information so I decided to use the bus ride to try and figure it out. I was completely engrossed in the process when I looked up, and just my luck, a ticket checker had gotten on. If I had been paying attention, I could have gotten off where they got on, however we were past the stop and moving full speed ahead. There is a machine on the bus for payments if you are without a RavKav or your RavKav doesn’t work. So I moved to the machine to at least try and pay. I had no idea how the machine worked and the guy checking cards seemed to know it. He came up to me and I tried to explain the situation. Of course, he only spoke Hebrew. I knew he wanted to scan my card and check but I stalled and resisted, insisting I was trying to pay. Eventually I was out of excuses, and I handed him my card, right as we passed the shuk where I had wanted to get off. He scanned it, and thankfully decided if I paid in cash using the machine, he would let me be. I pulled out 5 shekels but the machine refused to cooperate, spitting my money back at me. I think we were both pretty frustrated. At this moment, we arrived at the central bus station, and the bus stopped. After multiple failed attempts, he shook his head, glared at me, and gestured for me to go. I couldn’t believe I got off without a fine!! Whew. After I concluded my shopping I opted to walk home. I wasn’t about to risk having a similar experience with a less favorable outcome. In those moments of arguing with the man, I felt extremely Israeli. Maybe I am acquiring a little bit of chutzpah after all ;)

Just some Be'Er Sheva sights from my walk home haha.

In other exciting news I BOUGHT A TICKET HOME FOR CHRISTMAS!!!!!! When I first arrived in Israel, I wasn’t entirely sure I would come home for Christmas. It’s a pretty short break, less than 2 weeks, a very long way to travel, and quite expensive haha. However, life is short. If I have the chance to see the people I love, I should take it. As each day passes and we near Christmas, I am increasingly thankful I bought tickets home. I miss everyone and Kansas so much. It’s nice to have some sort of light ahead. If you want to try and meet up, please let me know (: I have not done a good job of informing people I will be home because there really is not one good, centralized method haha. I arrive on the 23rd of December and fly out on January 2nd. I will probably be in KC for at least one day, maybe Manhattan, definitely in Pratt, and I’m sure we could figure something out.

If I'm being honest, it has felt difficult to spend time in God's word recently. I have felt overwhelmed and my mind has been hard to shut off and focus. Normally it doesn't sound appealing to spend my moments of rest diving into my relationship with Christ. It is much easier to simply distract myself or numb out for a while instead. A friend, Tal, asked me after church one Saturday how my time with Lord has been. I think sometimes, it is easy to hide the truth in these moments. I could have easily said, it's been good, how about you?, and moved on. It's difficult to admit struggling in one of the most basic commandments we have. But I paused and thought about it. I chose honesty and explained I was struggling. As the body of Christ does, he encouraged me, he didn't reprimand me or make me feel guilty. When I spend less time with Jesus, overtime, it gets easier to brush off its importance and impact on my life. It is only when I return to making purposeful time to read the Bible and simply talk to God that I am reminded of how much of a difference it makes in my daily life. I am still far from where I should be or where I want to be. But getting there starts with a small step everyday. For me, it sometimes feels like I can't start that journey unless I am doing all the things at once, but this simply isn't true. And it's a lie that keeps me from returning to what is good and what is life-giving.

I share this verse a lot, but it is because it constantly encourages me and reminds me of where my hope lies.

Hosea 6:3

Oh, that we might know the Lord! Let us press on to know him. He will respond to us as surely as the arrival of dawn or the coming of rains in early spring.

So press on dear human. There is hope and He is waiting for us with a heart full of love.