A Special Birthday Edition

Inherently, I find birthdays to be an interesting concept. Essentially a birthday is just a day we decided to use to celebrate and show our love for the people in our lives. Don’t get me wrong, I love celebrating other people’s birthdays. But when it comes to my birthday, I feel uncomfortable haha. I think many people may share this sentiment (but for their birthday, not mine). I have tried to understand why I feel this way, and these are the conclusions I have reached.

1. On my birthday, it doesn’t feel like I have done anything that deserves celebration.

2. I don’t want it to be about me haha. I just want to hang out with my people and not be the center of attention.

3. People feel obligated to say happy birthday and they feel guilty if they didn’t know or if they forget. I find both results undesirable.

4. Sometimes it can feel like there are a lot of expectations put on me simply because it is my birthday. Like I need to have plans and be happy and have certain reactions… I often feel like I can’t live up to these expectations.

The best birthdays I have experienced are when I got to be with my people and nothing was forced. I have many recent memories of such times. I remember a birthday in Sterling when I got thrown in the pool after basketball practice and sweet Kylah surprised me with birthday cake while I was babysitting for a professor. One birthday my mom came to Manhattan, took me out to dinner, and bought me flowers. There was a birthday at K-State when Abby and my friends surprised me with an ice cream and cards party at the Yellow House. Another birthday I had classes all day, cadaver lab, tutoring, and KSU challenge in the evening. But my roommates (and friends) surprised me with a grilled ham and cheese sandwich, decorated my room, and gave me the sweetest cards. Then there are the many wonderful birthday breakfasts ;) And of course, the pizza party last year which my roommates and friends were incredible at hosting. I am so so blessed to have so many sweet birthday memories surrounded by the most incredible people.

As my birthday was approaching, I wasn’t expecting any type of celebration, I wasn’t trying to plan anything, and I didn’t feel upset that it would be very different and possibly just another day. But for some reason, my heart felt heavy. As I tried to process these emotions (something I am working on haha), I realized it was because my birthday was a reminder of just how far away I am from my family and my dear friends. I am surrounded by wonderful people here, but I miss each of my people from home and being with them and spending quality time with them. And it’s okay to feel that. But it is also hard to feel that. Sometimes being here makes it feel like it will always be this way. After all, the future is uncertain. I don’t know where God will take me or where everyone else will be in the coming months and years. In moments like this it is easy to feel hopeless. But there is hope! God does and will continue to provide in every moment, no matter how big or how small.

For anyone praying for me thank you. I can tell you God was so faithful. A sweet friend challenged me to let the words of affirmation truly sink in instead of responding with deflection. As it turned out, my dear Lauren wasn’t about to let my birthday pass without a celebration. She asked me a few days in advance to think about what I wanted to do and who I wanted to invite. After careful thought and consideration, we decided to try out BBB Burgers. The decision of who to invite felt harder. I didn’t want to have a big shindig, but I also didn’t want anyone to feel left out or uninvited. In the end, I concluded it would be simplest to go with my roommates; Lauren, Sammy, and Risper, plus Jack and Caroline. Lauren took care of organizing the people which honestly was the sweetest gift (:

BIRTHDAY BUDDIES!!!!!!!!!!

My birthday was on a Sunday. This means COMPLETELY different things in the United States vs in Israel. Sunday is equivalent to a very full day of class here, typically from 8-6. But the special thing about being in Israel is October 9th is still happening in the U.S. while October 10th is happening in Israel. Why is this important? Because Brooke Glasnapp’s birthday is on the 9th!!! This year we were truly, factually B-Day Buddies (: I woke up around 4:30 (which if you know me, automatically meant it was going to be a great day!!), and the first thing I did was call Brooke. I feel honored to temporarily share my birthday with such a special human. We have a tradition (or we are starting a tradition?) of each picking a word we feel God put on our heart for our next year of life. Last year Brooke’s word was rooted, and mine was boldness. It seems like it was quite fitting as nothing short of Christ given boldness landed me in Israel haha.

This year I really felt like God had given me the word Humility. As I have written in several of my previous posts, Israel has continually revealed how prideful my heart is. Humility is crucial in learning how to interact with my classmates, my roommates, and everyone around me. It is easy to desire my own way, but I don’t want to continue living like that. I need humility to accept that God’s plan and purpose are better than what I try to create for myself. There are so many things beyond my control, and when I gravitate toward frustration, I want to instead be humbled enough to accept what I can’t change and learn from my mistakes. Where there is humility, there can be growth. I know I don’t want to come out of this year of my life unchanged. I want to learn from people around me, from the culture, from Christ, and from who I have been so I can become more like who I was created to be. So humility, here we come. If you want to know Brooke’s word, ask her (: I think you will leave the conversation feeling very encouraged <3.

Caroline had offered to share a birthday run with me and even agreed to a 5:30 start. Now that is sacrificial love on her part, and it truly made me feel loved. It was a great way to start the day (: I got a call from Kat and Matthew towards the end of our run because they knew I would be awake haha. And of course, afterwards Caroline insisted on buying me a pastry from Oren Meshi, a nearby bakery haha. She even came to our run prepared with her method of payment and mask to go into the bakery. Although I told her it was completely unnecessary, I walked out with a wonderful apple filled croissant. The best thing was, I still had several hours until I needed to leave for class. So I had some alone time, got some studying in, and I was ready to hit the streets haha.

I hadn’t really told anyone it was my birthday, but Lauren made a very sweet Instagram post which successfully alerted my classmates. Some were quite appalled I hadn’t told anyone it was my birthday, but I could only laugh and shrug my shoulders. I would have been satisfied to fly under the radar (:

(our daily lunch picnic at the hospital)

Classes were long as expected, but we made it through. I think all our brains were melted by the time we got to Hebrew. We were much too slap happy. When our teacher wants to confirm it’s okay to clear the white board, she will ask, “Can I delete?”. On this day, I guess Jack had internally had enough, because when she asked, he simply replied with a slightly frustrated, “Erase!”, which was very out of character for him. Our teacher didn’t hear him, but we couldn’t stop laughing.

As we were taking the elevator down from the 6th floor to ground level, my classmates all banded together to sing Happy Birthday in Hebrew. The funniest moment was when the elevator stopped on the 4th floor, the song in full swing. The people gathered in the lobby were a little stunned to be greeted by a singing elevator (:

And alas, to the burgers!!! An incredible thing happened, at least incredible in Betsy world. As we were walking out of the hospital, the bus we needed to get on was just pulling up to the stoplight. It was past the bus stop where so we signaled we wanted a ride. The driver shook his head, but after we shrugged indicating we thought it was worth a try, he laughed and opened the door to let us on anyway. What a beautiful moment (:

BBB was quite delightful. We found a waiter willing to take our order in English after we scared the first one off. I ordered a burger with cheese and fries. Very non-Kosher and very Kansan (: And boy, they were gooooood burgers. It was my first burger since I left the U.S. and it was worth the wait. They even had real American Ketchup (: Of course, Caroline brought a candle for me to stick in my burger haha. It was quite tender. My friends also found it necessary to tell the waiter it was my birthday. So of course, they played the birthday song and brought us some ice cream and cake. Much less embarrassing than what would have happened at Texas Roadhouse haha, so I’ll take it. And to top it all off, they even wouldn’t let me contribute to paying the cost. It was definitely an exercise in humility haha. It takes a lot of humility to allow yourself to be served by others.

Feeling very full, this time we did miss the bus. It pulled away despite our best attempt to flag it down. We decided to walk home, and although it was definitely a trek, it was a beautiful evening. I had the privilege of finished my day with more phone calls from home. I got numerous phone calls, texts, Instagram shout-outs, and messages from so many sweet people whom I love so dearly. Thank you for remembering that I exist ;) and if I didn’t hear from you, I know you love me haha. Don’t feel guilty, that is one of the things that makes birthdays problematic ;) It was a long day, but also a really wonderful day.

So about birthdays. They can be a weird day. They can be even weirder when you are in another country, and you haven’t known anyone around you longer than 3 months. They can be chaotic and uncomfortable. But I have decided they are an overall positive. They give you a reason to take time out of your normal schedule and do something special, something fun. It can bring people together, even if you haven’t known each other for long. They allow you to bring people in and say hey, celebrate life with me, let’s find some good in the now. Sometimes it is hard to let people celebrate you. But if you are like me and you don’t love your birthday, I would encourage you not to fight it. Let it happen, gather your people around you and find something joyful to hold on to. Because even though the original goal may have been to celebrate you, it also allows you to celebrate the humans around you and celebrate the fact that you are friends and in each other’s lives. It was a great excuse for me to talk to many of my favorite humans ;)

Just a few pics of my fav humans I managed to collect. If I was thinking more strategically, I would have been doing this all day haha. But these bring me joy, so I hope they will do the same for you <3

Most importantly, birthdays remind me of what it feels like to be celebrated. This is important because it reminds me to celebrate the people around me more often so they can experience that feeling. Sometimes that’s all it takes to remind people they aren’t alone and that they are loved. In the end, life is but a vapor. I think we should add a little bit of celebrating in whenever we get the chance (: